I am puke
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
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