You're completely useless in the revolution.
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Can't talk, ducks in the car
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
