hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
