My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
