pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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