he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
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I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
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my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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