I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Sext me about skeletons
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
