she was so not down for the gang bang
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
