you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
