So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
pray to the hookup gods
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Randomize
