No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
now i know why i became what i already was.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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