I'm gonna have a badass scar
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Randomize
