he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
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