i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Randomize
