I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
