Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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