So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
is wine microwaveable?
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
