Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
