hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
So much Jack, so little girl.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
