Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
