you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Couch. On fire.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
