so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Randomize
