Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
