yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
