fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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