Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
