JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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