are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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