I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
