can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
