let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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