How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
