so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
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