I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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