i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Randomize
