i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
