so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
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No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
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