Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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