my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
