I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
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