Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Randomize
