K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Sext me about skeletons
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Randomize
