Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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