theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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