You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
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