put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
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