she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
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