I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
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