only if we run a train.
done.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
We talked him into tasing himself.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Randomize
