chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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