gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Randomize
