i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE