So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Are we still banned from the library?
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬