Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Randomize
