I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
