both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
