i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Dick very happy bro
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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