Since when is my name a synonym for head?
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Randomize
