If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
