Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
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