I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
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It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
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It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
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