stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
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