All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
