A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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